COMMUNITY LIFE A Beautiful Reflection by SR. INIGO

 

COMMUNITY LIFE

In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit

Reflection on community life in our consecrated life.

We began the session with “In the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” and we didn’t call one individual person.

God is communion. He comes to us as a community as Father, Son and Spirit. He is always in relationship with one another. Our God is communion. Three persons, always living together. Jesus could have come directly to save us. But he was born in a family. He lived communion with Mother Mary and Joseph. That’s the plan of God. When Jesus began His mission .He could have done it independently but his first mission after his baptism at Jordan was to form a community. He prayed the whole night, as we read in Luke Gospel 6; 12-13 before choosing the community members. The 12 were the result of his whole night prayer. He could have chosen a better community. It was not a perfect community in our calculation. Just check the nature of each one called by Jesus. Starting from Peter. He formed a community of disciples not because they were perfect but he made them perfect. In order to save our humanity Jesus realized only a community can do. We read in Acts of the Apostles 2: 44-47, it tells us that early Christians gathered together as a community and this attracted others and their number increased day by day.

All our sacraments are communitarian. We are the Assembly of God. A loving God created us. We all grew up in a family of love. And We grew up in community with siblings and relatives. We were surrounded by love. When we joined the congregation our formation began in a community. We lived with our companions in community and immediately after profession were sent to a community and not to an island. We know the song “no one can live as an island”. We don’t choose our community members but keeping the mission of Jesus as the focus, we are sent.

Suppose my dear sisters, if I ask you the question, Recall the most satisfying moments in your religious life and share… what would you share? We would natural share those moments of togetherness. Being missed, loved , appreciated and valued.

Suppose if I ask you another question, look for worst moments in your community life… we would naturally recall those moments of being left alone, abandoned, devalued or misunderstood. Loneliness is painful because we desperately desire to be connected, irrespective of age, gender or status.

What is the reason for our longing to be in a community? Why this is deeply inserted in the structure of our being?

Since we are created in the likeness of God who is communion, our basic human nature also demands, urges us to live in fellowship of love for one another.

Life is RELATIONSHIPS. We live for and enjoy relationships. Tell me who doesn’t want love and who doesn’t want to be loved?

This feeling is basically embedded in our life. We use three phrases.

1.      Common Life

2.      Community Life

3.      Communion

There is a vast difference among the three. Let me share with you the differences.

WHAT IS COMMON LIFE?

Staying together under the same roof. This is what we call us, boarding, orphanages, or hostels. There is same place, time to study, time to eat, time to play, time to pray and time to sleep. Time table is followed there with discipline. Bell sound brings the students or the children in the hostel together.

But WHAT IS COMMUNITY LIFE?

Sharing the common work and ministries and even finance.

We have a vision in a community.

Accountability to others is there.

A superior is there to co-ordinate.

Sometimes it could also be like a hostel, eatery places. We can also come, eat, sleep and we can go without meeting each other. That’s what community life is becoming today.

WHAT IS COMMUNION?

IT MEANS of ONE MIND AND HEART.

Caring for one another.

Sense of belonging

To have a feeling of I missed you.

We missed you.

There’s a gap, a vacuum without you.

It’s not only with regard to work but your presence is important.

We are happy when you are with us.

Your absence is conspicuous.

We show this many times waiting for them before eating our meals. We cancel the program sometimes when they are in tension and pain.

Community is the place where we release the tension of our mission.

Community is the place where we are energized. We share our joys and sorrows freely. We also share our successes and also failures and weaknesses. And the demands and challenges of our ministries are openly shared in our community and we are energized. It is not surprisingly then that when we are divided and alone we long for connections, we long for community. In fact my dear sister, loneliness is the worst form of suffering. That a human being can endure. It is worse than physical hunger and poverty. People die not due to lack of food but also due to lack of love. These days there is no fighting explicitly in many of our communities, except in a very very few houses but there is no communion. We don’t talk with each other. A culture of silence has entered into religious life. We all have our single room, we have our one mobile with internet and many times we self-quarantine ourselves and stay inside our room. We are afraid to talk to others. We are afraid to be hurt. We are afraid to be humiliated and rejected. That’s why we close the doors and stay inside. The greatest miseries dearest sisters, is not just the HIV-AIDS or Cancer, Covid19 but also loneliness, lovelessness, rejection and being abandoned. This leads to depression, suicides and mental breakdowns.

Many exists but very few are alive in our communities. Loneliness is all most equal to death. We have landed on the moon dear sisters but not in the heart of our neighbor.

We are good in talking to people who are far away but with not with the members who are living with us in the community.

Though communication facilities are increased today like internet, email, mobiles, today we often hear complaints about lack of communications.

Phone lines are always engaged but everyone is going through terrible loneliness. A sister was sent to States to do COMMUNICATION-Ph.D., Doctorate. Successfully she completed her Ph.D. and returned back to her congregation. Ph.D., in communication but she doesn’t communicate with anybody. We develop skills but we don’t practice it in our life.

We build community walls but we have not learnt to build bridges.

We are glow to smartphones and internets. We have come to the realization that with all the cellphones, emails and modern technologies what is important is communion, relationships for which gadgets are also not very important many a times. We are not called human- doings. If we are Human-Doings, we keep on doing, doing but we are HUMAN_BEINGS.

My dear sisters, community life is not the problem, following the timetable and sharing the work is not the problem, but there is no communion, we keep ourselves simply busy. Ministry is an excuse not to meet others. Our energy is sapped by our community issues and little energy is left to do our ministry. We have no stamina finally to creatively to involve ourselves in the ministry.

Communion cannot come by merely living the common timetable, by living under a common roof, or eating together or saying the prayers together. It comes about when individuals are made to feel welcomed, valued, understood and loved. We are related to each other neither functionally nor hierarchically in the community but as persons in the community we are equal as sisters, as children of one God.

It is the relationship that transcends one’s office and functions. Sisters, it is not enough just to be intelligent alone. Today we have plenty of highly educated members in our congregations. Who needs our intelligence? In what way others benefit by our intelligence and skills? We have so many intelligent people but nobody can live with them or work with them. Whereas if we are loving, caring, compassionate and respecting people then others will love us.

COVID 19 has taught us many a beautiful lessons. The wealth, property, power, positions, education, status and riches are not going to save us. Finally what we are going to leave to others? Who we are?

Sisters we cannot expect perfect people anywhere. Not even in our family, born of the same parents. Five fingers are different. If you want to have very perfect and peaceful life then we all have to go to the graveyard and lie down there. In the graveyard, all perfect peace. Nobody will disturb us, it is not reality.

 Even Peter and Paul fought with each other but they worked for one Church. As long as we live in a community, conflict bound to arise. Conflicts are unavoidable. Differences of opinion should not alienate us. Disagreements will be there but they should not divide us. If the attitude is not changed, relationships will be difficult.

There is a story of 4 men walking along the narrow path in a jungle. 4 people walking through the same route, through the same jungle.

As they walked the first one came across a deadly snake, lying across the path. He was so frightened, fear gave him strength and he fled as fast as he could.

The second person also saw the snake lying on his path, he was so frightened that he was simply frozen and stood there. He could neither run nor cry for help. He could only stand there like a pillar. Totally lost.

The third person saw the snake on the same path, he cut a small branch from the tree and with it he killed the snake and he walked away while the other man standing like a pillar.

Finally came the Fourth person. The sight of the snake frightened him that all he could do was to stand there and scream for help, though the snake he saw was dead and gathering. The snake was not there.

It was dead. It was gathering flies but He was so frightened that he took a large curve around the snake and walked away.

We see four different reactions to the same snake. That doesn’t depend on the snake but on four different persons. If someone hates me it does not show that I am bad. That only shows something of the quality of the person who hates me. I can also hate her. Or I can ignore what she talks about me. I can forgive her or I can be friendly and helpful to her. My response will depend upon what kind of person I am, my background, the way I was brought up, my outlook and how I see the situations.

The priests and the Pharisees, they wanted to arrest Jesus, we read this in John’s Gospel chapter 7: 45-46. They sent guards to arrest Jesus and bring him. The guards returned. And the Pharisees are asking, what about that man we told you to arrest and bring him? They saw Jesus differently. They said: no one has ever spoken like this.

Sisters when you have time, read the book of Numbers 13:17-14:9. Moses is sending two groups to the Promised Land separately, 10 in a group and 2 in a group to spy the Promised Land before they could enter there. When they returned, both presented different reports. But same Promised land.

You know the most common story. A king called 6 blind men to touch and describe an elephant. All of them came up with different answers. Calling the elephant, it looks like a rope or a fan. It looks like a snake, no it’s a wall. Well they were partly right. They were nowhere near the whole truth. All of us see the world and life from our limited perspective. If we knew this then we would not be in conflict with others. But we assume that what we know is the whole truth and the other is wrong. And hence there are conflicts all over the world basically because my truth does not agree with yours. Although we both of us don’t know that we both of us are partially correct and are both likely to be wrong.

We strongly hold on to our partial or wrong concepts many times and we fight it over tooth and nail. What we see is not the untruth but it cannot be the entire truth which is too vast for mere mortals to comprehend. It needs highly enlightened soul and heart of the caliber of Jesus or our founders to be able to see and understand the whole truth.

If we recognize this fact that we don’t know the whole picture, we are likely to become less aggressive, more humble, more understanding, which will pave the way for more peace and joy on earth.

I would like to give you a few simple tips to practice it in your community to achieve communion.

1.      Sisters, every day examine yourself: what we call today PERSONAL AUDITING before you go to bed. Why I suffer everywhere. Self-critique. Am I responsible for my suffering?  Is it due to my weakness and my background and my habit? Matured members will make introspection and correct themselves.  Immature will blame others, community members, superiors, situations etc.  Why I don’t have friends? Am I a reactionary, dominating or arrogant or angry person? Or Am I not serious hence nobody can trust me?. We examine mostly others, not ourselves. Retreat is the time to examine ourselves. Silence for 10 minutes and assess your life, otherwise we will be a burden to others and to ourselves.

2.      Complementing/ appreciating others: even plants and animals grow fast when they are appreciated, when we touch them. We were all complimented at one time or the other and given lot of positive strokes, at home or in our formation houses or in our congregation. Therefore we have grown. Appreciation is a tonic. Complementing, appreciating others generously is contagious. You know, Angel Gabriel was sent by God to Mother Mary, to get her consent. The Angel complemented Mother Mary Saying “Hail full of Grace”. As soon as Mother Mary heard this complement, she turns and runs to Elizabeth and compliments her. Elizabeth in turn compliments Mother Mary saying, “Blessed are you among women”. Mary in turn praises God by singing the Magnificat and God also compliments Mother Mary by raising her to heaven-Assumption. Jesus said to Peter, ‘you are Rock’, must be genuine appreciation. What is the climate of your community? What is your community culture? Is it one of joy, appreciation, generosity? Check. Are you contributing for the happiness of your community?

3.      (This is very important for communion) DON’T JUDGE: Jesus starts His missionary life in the vision statement of Luke’s Gospel chapter 4:18-19 “I have come to proclaim the year of the Lord and to heal everybody, not to judge or to curse.” Very beautifully St. Paul says, Rom 14:4. We should read it often. “Who are you to judge?”. Who are you? Who gave you the permission to judge others? Jermiah 17: 9-10 says, “The heart is devious above all else.” It is perverse too. Who can understand it, except me?. That’s why St. James is warning against judging another in chapter 4:1-12 ‘warning against judging another’. We must be ready to change our opinion like Nathaneal, the one who was initially so cynical about Jesus. What good can come from Nazareth?. But in Jn 1:49 he change his view, “Rabbai, you are the Son of God, the King of Israel”.  Adulterous woman Jesus said, “Sin no more”. Best judgment given by Jesus ever given by any judge in the world. That changed her. What I expect in others is not in them. What others expect in me, are those qualities in me? We want others to change immediately. Can I SAY LIVE LIKE ME? Am I a model to others? I shout or blame others sometimes, as if I have never made any mistake. Have I never made any mistake in my life? Can we say like Paul as he says in ACTs,a brilliant sentence. Acts 23:1, ‘up to this day I have lived my life, with a clear conscience before God. Can I say that? And ST. Peter say in his first letter (1P) 3:16 “keep your conscience clear”. Even the broken clock is right, twice a day. Observe everything. Forget much. Correct very little. That will bring communion in our community. You may not like somebody’s face. You may not like her way of eating and dressing. You may not like her life-style or she is glue to mobile all the time. You may not like her behavior. But you need not like everybody. You have no right to hate or humiliate anybody on account of these things. God can write straight with crooked lines. He did this with St. Peter, Paul, Augustine, Francis of Assisi, etc. when judge as Mother Teresa says, we have less time to love others. My judgment, sisters remember, My judgment reveals not who others are but it reveals about myself. Who I am. Whenever I am judging I am revealing myself to others. How many times our Pope Francis asked us ‘not to gossip , not to judge, or if we are tempted to gossip bite your tongue’. Let us practice these wise says in community.

4.      READY TO FORGIVE: 70 TIMES 7: Forgiveness is not something we do for other people; it’s not a favor that I am doing to others by forgiving. Whenever I forgive I get well, I move on. Even if it is hard to forgive do it for your well-being, otherwise you will put yourself in the prison of your own making. Anger is nothing but brief madness of slow poison. It is one alphabet less of DANGER. Put D before anger it’s DANGER.  A match-stick has a head made from powdered chemical. Just strike or rub it against the side of the box and the stick burst into flame. Aren’t we at times behaving in similar passion? Let a small thing go against our wishes or our expectations, or else see what happens. Let us not take every petty thing seriously otherwise we will be sick, perennial patients in our communities. Deal with the simple matters in a simple way. Just because somebody did not wish me, don’t make it a big issue. Many at times sisters don’t come for prayer regularly, or they come late. That’s not our problem. If you want to correct, you have the freedom to correct only when you know you love them. There’s a difference between feedback and criticism. In the name of feedback, we criticize and hurt others. Many at times we allow petty and trivial matters to break our beautiful relationships. When someone passes on some information to you, don’t jump immediately and grasp it. Listen to it carefully. Before knowing the truth we suffer. We allow relationships to break. Then we come to know what she shared with us is not true. Then we become inactive and experience the crippling effect in our life. So some people always like sorrowful mysteries. They would come and share with you always the Negative Mysteries. Don’t listen to negative people. Be positive and encourage positivity in your life.

5.      Finally my dear sisters, ask god’s grace to live a peaceful life. Pray for yourself every day to live in that respective community with the members given to you. Pray for yourself to accept the situations, not allowing these situations to bog you down. Pray for the person who hurts you. This is your responsibility. My father or mother, she/he doesn’t know that what she/he is doing. Isaiah 38:17, what a beautiful verse “You have thrown my God, my sins behind your back”. Let us also throw the mistakes of others behind our back then only we can pray OUR FATHER meaningfully.

Sisters our communities must be COUNTER-CULTURAL, witnessing to the broken, divided and scattered families. The TRAFFIC SDIGNAL teaches a beautiful lesson. Wait there patiently sometimes until your red light will automatically turn into green.

Continue to pray,

 Reflect,

Contribute your little might for the joy of the community

GOD BLESS YOU SISTERS

REFERENCE FROM

SR. INIGO SSA